Wed, Jul. 20th, 2005, 03:23 pm
Shannon ist vewy comfoozed right now. There are alot of things going on...
Monday when I got home mom and dad were argueing. I guess aunt Jan has chosen to spread Uncle Mike's ashes in Idaho. It's where they had vacationed once before, and knowing how much he absolutely loved it there, she wanted to spread them there. Mom was saying that dad was being so selfish for agreeing for her to go ahead and do that. I guess alot of the family agrees with her. They are so mad at her for deciding to do that, and also to go alone and do it while the kids stay at our house... She was saying she would never speak to her again. I mean seriously, Uncle Mike would never have wanted the family to go against his wife because of the place where we spread his ashes. It's rediculous.
I guess the family believes they need a place to go to to mourn, as in a graveyard. I would never want to be put in a graveyard. Dad was saying if Mike was burried, he would never go visit. Ever. I don't know if I would... it's too sad. Spreading his ashes in a place he loved being would make me happy to go visit. Unlike a graveyard...
It's not right for our family to fight about this.
Yesturday when mom got home, I asked her what was going on with the whole Jan thing, because the night before was dad and mom argueing about it. I didn't get straight information. So we talked about it, and somehow it progressed into a talk about dad and mom's marriage. I haven't seen my mom cry since Mike died. She was actually balling. I can see how unhappy she is with their marriage, and it makes me sad knowing how long she has lived and put up with these feelings. She told me that there has been good times, but a whole lot of bad times. I know it's been bugging her more lately since she isn't drowning her days with work as much, and actually has time to think about things. That's why she works so much. Same with dad.
Dad has been coming home drunk or stoned a bit more than usual lately. And for that, mom says she has lost all respect for him. She said that she knew from the first year that it was bad, but the fact that neither of them ever wanted to be devored, and hope for change kept them going. I told her that I wouldn't pick sides and that I wouldn't blame either of them if they devored. They don't need to worry about me in a situation like that. Does she honestly want to live her entire life knowing that she could be so much happier? I know she doesn't want the weight on her shoulders of knowing that she would change our lives and bringing sadness to us, but that goes away in time.
Another thing is bugging me. I like someone, but I'm not quite certain they like me. But also, I don't know if anything could happen. It's difficult. I don't know. I'm driving myself nuts. grr... I wish my mom wasn't so gawl darned picky about my friends.
That's all... v_v
Mon, Jul. 18th, 2005, 07:31 am
I know you don't like me much, but I feel as if I should try to help. Atleast as much as I can, that is.
I'm sorry that things aren't going the best for you and Mikey right now, and I'm sorry that you feel so unhappy. That is kind of how me and Joe fell apart. We kind of just stopped making time for eachother; stopped seeing eachother. But please realize that it wasn't working our between him and I, and please don't get angry with me for it.
I'm sorry I wasn't the nicest I could have been to you on Saturday when we picked you up. I guess I was still a bit uneasy about what was said. I did that for Ian though. I see that Ian hates the fact we don't get along with a passion. We even ended up having a bit of an arguement (that never happens! x_x)
So Tasha, I am sorry. Whether or not you except it, is up to you.
(This was actually what I was going to type on her last entry, but I wasn't allowed)
(Kind of pointless to type this when I'm not on her friends list, and she has a filter thing and probably won't see this. I just thought since I can't comment on her entries, I'll just type this here. Even if she can't read it, I just needed to say what I needed to say.)
Mon, Jul. 18th, 2005, 01:27 am
We are the prirates who don't do anything!
Fri, Jul. 15th, 2005, 01:22 pm
Joe and I have broken up...
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005, 10:55 pm
Well well well... Let's see, got off groundededed todee! Yay!
It didn't start off too well because dad and I got into an argument before I left.
...God I hate fighting with my dad. He gets so mad at me for not saying anything, but I just can't yell or argue with him or else I get too emotional and stuff.
It's been weird I tell ya. He never used to get angry with me, but lately since after mom and dad were talking of devorce and stuff, he's been extra moody. (He's bad when he's moody, so it's been pretty darned bad.) Anything anymore gets him pissed off. I hate it, it gets so fustrating. x_x
But when we were arguing, anything I did say just made it worse. Then later during the night, after we left Nate's, I was told to ask my mom again to go to the midnight showing of Charlie and the Chocoalate Factory. So I did... got my ass chewed out by both parents... (They were both on the phone...) Yeah, that felt good.
So, I had to leave Ian's early to get home by 10.
I got home. They yelled. I didn't even do anything. I was fucking 10 minutes early! God, this fucking sucks!! What the fuck did I fucking do? Seriously!!
Thu, Jul. 14th, 2005, 02:10 am
[x] whats your name?: Shannon
[x] how old?: 17
[x] siblings?: Yes
[x] their ages: 23
[x] female or male: female
[x] birthday: November 7th
[x] natiOnality: doesn't matter
[x] Birthplace: Burnsville, Minnesota
[x] Current [[currently in]]: Jordan, Minnesota
[x] Eye Color: Green
[x] Hair Color: Brown and Blonde
[x] Righty or Lefty: Righty
[x] Zodiac Sign: Scorpio
[x] Innie or Outtie: Innie
[x] The shoes you wore today: the same shoes I wear everyday...
[x] your eyes: Endless pools od sparkling jade, that make even the what brightest star seem as a grain of sand and swallows the world all their beauty. (Just as the rest of you)(Un-neferdescribed that) x_x He's on the phone! ^_^
[x] Your fears: mother, to be alone, darkness (sometimes), to hurts people
[x] Your most overused phrase on aim: "heehee"
[x] Your thoughts when you first wake up: nicotine... x_x
[x] The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: eyes and lips
[x] Your best physical features: tummy (coming from un-nefer...)
[x] Your bedtime: Usually after 4 am, plus naptimes during the day ^____^
[x] Your most missed memory: Singing "Her Daddy's Money" with my uncle, cousin, and sister in Mike's truck
[x] Pepsi or coke: cherry coke or wild cherry pepsi
[x] McDonald's or Burger King: Booger King! XD
[x] Cappuccino or coffee: Coffee, with cream and occasionaly some sugah!
[x] Smoke: yes
[x] Cuss: maybe... ^_~
[x] Take a shower everyday: uh, not during the summer... ^_^
[x] Have a crush(es):
[x] Who are they:
[x] Do you think you've been in love?: yes
[x] Want to go to college: yeah, AI hopefully ^_^
[x] Want to get married: sure
[x] Type w/ your fingers on the right keys: sometimes
[x] Believe in yourself: depends, in what
[x] Get motion sickness: nope
[x] Think you're attractive: nein
[x] Think you're a health freak: no!
[x] Get along with your parents: When we want to ^-^
[x] Like thunderstorms: YES! AHHH!!
[x] Play an instrument: Guitar, Oboe, Tenor Sax, and some piano
[[------------IN THE PAST MONTH DID:/:HAVE YOU--------------]]
[x] Go to the mall: Yes
[x] Eaten sushi: nope
[x] Been on stage: nope
[x] Been dumped: nope
[x] Gone skating: nope
[x] Made homemade cookies: OOOOOOOOOOO! Cookies! nope
[x] Been in love: yes x_x
[x] Dyed your hair: nope
[x] Stolen anything: Sammi's anime ^o^
[[-----------------HAVE YOU EVER------------------]]
[x] Flown on a plane: yes
[x] Missed school because it was raining? no
[x] Told a guy/girl that you liked them?: yes
[x] Cried during a Movie?: Yeah! Bambi! awww. T.T Disney movies get me every time!! >.<
[x] Ever thought an animated character was hot?: guilty ^.^
[x] Cut your hair: when i was a wee wittle one!
[x] Had crush on a teacher?: nope
[x] Played a game that required removal of clothing?: yesh
[x] Been caught "doing something": yes, several times... x_X
[x] Been called a tease: Yeah!! x_X
[x] Gotten beaten up ?: nope
[[-----------------------OPPOSITE SEX/SAME SEX--------------------------]]
[x] notice first?: guy
[x] have a BF/GF?: on a "break" ^_^;;;
[x] any specific kind of guy/girl you into?: not really
[x] feelin anyone?: as in like anyone? sure
[x] been rejected?: Yes
[x] ever rejected someone?: yes
[x] broken someones heart?:
[x] ever been heart broken?: yes
[x] if so how many times?: several
[x] been kissed recently??: yes
[x] from who?:
[x] Best eye color: doesn't matter... but I had to be picky... mmm Green or Blue
[x] Best hair color: doesn't matter
[x] Best height: doesn't matter, just not too short! x_x I'm short enough! ^-^
[x] Number of drugs taken illegally:
[x] Number of people I could trust with my life: 1 maybe 2
[x] Number of CDs that I own: UH.... Too many to count.
[x] Number of piercings: 7
[x] Number of tattoos: None, but soon to come
[x] Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: Once, Student of the Month for Art ^o^
[x] Number of scars on my body: 30 that are visable (exactly I counted)
[x] Number of things in my past that I regret:
[x] Shampoo: Thermasilk
[x] Fav Color(s): Green, black, pink, and white
[x] Day/Night: night
[x] Summer/Winter: Winter
[x] Lace or Satin: Both! hehe
[x] Fave Cartoon Character: Hatsuharu Sohma, Alucard and many many more! ^o^
[x] Fave Food: garlic bread, bacon, pepper jack cheese, and yummy desserts
[x] Fave Movies: Last Samurai, Reign of Fire, Ghosts in the Darkness, and Pirates
[x] Fave sport: WATER POLO!! x_x just kidding
[x] Drinking: Cherry Coke
[x] Thinking about: what to write about on this thingy
[x] Listening to: Un-nefer talking on the teleh
: [[---------------IN THE LAST 24 HRS------------------]]
[x] Cried: A bit
[x] Worn jeans: No
[x] Met someone new online: Yes - on Furcadia
[x] Done laundry: no
[x] Drove a car: yesh
[x] Talked on the phone: yep, currently ^_^
[[-------------------FRIENDS AND LIFE------------------ ]]
[x] Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?: "break"
[x] Do you like anyone? Perhaps
[x] Which one of your friends acts the most like you?: Dan and Sammi.
[x] Who have you known the longest of your closest friends?: Sammi!!
[x] Are you close to any family member?: Pretty much all of them ^o^
[x] Who do you hang around the most?: Un-nefer
[x] When have you cried the most: Try not to think aboot these things....
[x] What's the best feeling in the world?: we won't be going into that....
[x] Worst Feeling?: Feeling completely unloved and alone.
[x] ever fallen for a friend? hehe, yes
[x] ever dated someone out of your school?: yes
[x] whats your fav. music video?: Kitty Dance!!!
[x] you are___?: moo
[x] i love to____with people?: cuddle or play video games... or both at the same time! ^o^
[x] what are the last 4 digits of ur phone #?:
[x] what was the last thing you ate?: brownie icecream thingy bar thing....
[x] the last person u talked on the phone with?: uh, Un-nefer
[x] favorite drink?: Full Throttle
[x] the last movie that you saw?: G.I. Jane
[x] hugs or kisses?: both please and thank you! ^-^
[x] what book are u reading?: Dark Prince
[x] the loudest person you know: Sammi... by far.
Wed, Jul. 13th, 2005, 02:26 pm
Joe and I are taking a break
Tue, Jul. 12th, 2005, 12:24 am
Secrets and lies surround
Engulfing my every word
Kept away from the surface
Pushed away, hidden
The feeling of being too weak strengthens
The promise of happiness
To every dear one I cherish
Fades with every movement I make
Which path do I take?
Which road promises happiness to them?
Advice of others is not there
Because I dare not choose to burden
The choices are clear as this day
The decision must be made
The path West sends sorrow East
The path East sends sorrow West
The path North brings sorrow both West and East
And finally, The path South
Most wanted of all
Blocked off by fear
Here I stand selfishly
Between two worlds
(sorry if this is confusing and doesn't make sence, but it does to me. So please don't make fun...)
Fri, Jul. 8th, 2005, 10:54 pm
So.... today pretty much rocked!!
~Woke up at 8:30, brought the cats to the vet... (Which I have to bring PJ to the vet on Monday at 9) There was this cat at the vet (which was the clinic's cat) his name was JD. He was so adorable!!
~Went home, slept a bit, met Dad at TJ Hoolagins with mom.
~Then went home with dad... played Y's, then left to meet mom at Well's Fargo to go over the loan dealy.
~THEN mom and I left to go meet Dave B to get mah MUSTANG!! It'a bute! ^o^ I hearts it!!!
~Went home, watered plants, then left and showed Jenna, Dan, and Joe the car. ^_____^
My gods! This car is incredible!! It doesn't seem real... It's like a dream!! XD!!!
Joe is a big dork and a big loser (He's on the phone! hehehe...)
I'm eating Honey Combs.... straight out of the box....
We are taking a loan out to pay for the Mustang right away, so that the dude can have all the money... right away. XP We are going to go sign the pages tomorrow for it.
We are taking three of our four cats to the vet tomorrow. Pookie Bear, Pucca, and Pookie Junior (PJ). That will be terrifying! x_X
But hopefully sometime tomorrow... I will get my car ^_____^